i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
