do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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