My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you will always have a special place in my vag
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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