I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
