Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
