I puked a lego.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
