I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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