Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love having hate sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
