no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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