I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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