my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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