i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
