i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?