I didn't shave. On purpose
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
