he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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