Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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