If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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