have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
