She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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