one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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