I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
