i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
