how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize