these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
