tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
