Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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