If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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