I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
