He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
