Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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