Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Come on in and take your pants off
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