My boss' voice literally gives me gas
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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