Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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