She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you would pick up someone in the library
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?