I should be sponsored by Trojan
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
