I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Barsexuality is the new black.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
