girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
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I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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