I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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