once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
