oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
