So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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