I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
