Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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