well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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