In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
