i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have fence marks all over my body
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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