went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
