i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
