READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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