dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
