She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
