I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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