TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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