can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
