This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
