Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
