dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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