Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
