dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
well you can't waste a boner
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
