shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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