I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
