By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
