I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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