So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
