remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
