I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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