its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
