I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
